Chasing Second Chances Page 11

  Chapter Seventeen

  When Kate woke up, it was already dark and Bryan was gone. She did not realize his absence at first, the wonderful dream she just had keeping her in a haze even after she had opened her eyes. Only when its vestiges faded did she turn to her side, finding a note on Bryan’s pillow.

  It read:

  I’m so sorry to leave you. I was thinking of waking you up but you were sleeping so soundly. I got a call about a patient. It’s an emergency so I have to go but I’ll make it up to you when I get back.

  Love you.

  Kate frowned. She knew there was nothing she could do about it, though, and so she decided not to let it get her down. Instead, she recalled what had happened before she had fallen asleep, smiling at how her relationship with Bryan had progressed, and at the fact that there were no more secrets between them, something she knew few couples could claim.

  But are there really no more secrets between you? A voice seemed to speak out of nowhere. Are you sure you’re not hiding anything more from him?

  Unable to answer ‘yes’, she frowned again.

  Right. There was still one more thing—the fact that she had kissed Lloyd back in Rapid City.

  As she fixed up the mess she had made in Bryan’s apartment, she pondered if she should tell him about that small incident.

  Small?

  Yes, it was small, she told herself, insignificant even. In fact, it was something she had already forgotten, which was why she had not brought it up a while ago. After all, it was something that never should have happened, something she had not meant to happen.

  But it did happen and so Bryan has the right to know about it.

  Kate sighed. Why did that voice inside of her have to be right?

  Yes, Bryan had to know if she was going to be true to her word, true to him. But if she did tell him, would he still trust her? Wouldn’t telling him only break the newfound trust they now had in each other?

  He could just let it go. After all, you let his past with Evelyn Rocher go.

  She highly doubted that. Evelyn, after all, was in the past. She was dead. Furthermore, Bryan had been with her long before he and Kate got together. On the other hand, Lloyd was very much alive, and the kiss she had shared with him had occurred while she was already with Bryan.

  Bryan had kept his past with Evelyn a secret but the secret itself was no crime. She could not say the same for her own.

  So you won’t tell him?

  She thought about it some more. If she told Bryan, he would get hurt and their relationship would never be the same again. But if she didn’t tell him, she knew she would keep hurting inside. Besides, there was no guarantee he would never find out and when he eventually did, he would get even more hurt.

  You have to tell him. You have to tell him even if he’ll get hurt, even if there’s a chance he’ll get angry and leave…

  “All right, all right. I get it,” Kate spoke out loud, sighing. “Just shut up already.”

  Even as she silenced the voice inside her, she knew she had to tell Bryan all about what had happened in Rapid City when he returned, and reluctantly, she decided she would. As much as she dreaded it, it was the right thing to do, the sooner the better.

  She only hoped it would also be for the best.

  * * * *

  Trying to be optimistic, Kate finished cleaning up Bryan’s apartment and by the time she was done, it was already past eight and she was hungry. As she waited for a cab, she briefly wondered if she should pass by a restaurant and take out some food since she was too tired to cook but thinking that she still had some leftover pasta from the previous night that she could reheat and wanting to take a shower already, she went straight home.

  The moment she stepped out of the cab and saw Lloyd’s BMW in the driveway, she regretted her decision. She had not expected Lloyd to be back home yet, though she supposed she should have expected it. More importantly, she did not want to talk to Lloyd, not after the last conversation they had over the phone and not right now when he was the cause of all her unease, and she was pretty sure a dialogue was inevitable if she stepped into the kitchen.

  She sighed.

  Oh well, there was no turning back now. She had made the wrong decision and she would simply have to live with the consequences.

  Squaring her shoulders, she entered the house and as soon as she did, she caught a whiff of something tasty—something that smelled like soy and butter. And was that apple pie?

  “Oh, good. You’re back.” Lloyd suddenly appeared from the kitchen, wearing her frilly, polka dot black and pink apron on top of his shirt and jeans, which now had a small brown splatter, and with one of her mitts covering his right hand. “I was beginning to think I would have to eat everything I cooked all by myself.”

  She had meant to ignore him or to put on a disgruntled expression and avoid eye contact if ever they came face to face, but at the sight of him in her apron, the most laidback and ridiculous she had probably ever seen of him, she could not help but simply stare at him, eyes wide and lips slightly parted in surprise.

  “You can cook?” she asked after a moment’s pause, that fact as surprising to her as the sight of him in an apron.

  “I’ve managed to learn,” he admitted. “Would you care to try what I’ve prepared?”

  “As long as it’s edible,” she found herself saying.

  He grinned, then went to the dining table to pull out a chair for her. “Please wait a moment.”

  Reluctantly, she sat down and after a minute, he came out of the kitchen with two plates. Just as she had suspected, he had prepared soy-braised chicken with buttered steamed vegetables, which not only looked edible but delicious, the sight of them nearly making her mouth water.

  “I think they look edible enough,” he said as he took off the apron and sat across her. “And if they don’t, I can assure you that they taste better than they look.”

  She said nothing, picking up her utensils so she could try the food. After the first two bites, she paused, unable to believe how good they tasted.

  “Well?” Lloyd asked.

  “They’re quite good,” she told him honestly after swallowing.

  He smiled. “I’m glad you think so.”

  “I’m just curious, though. Why?”

  He looked at her. “Why I decided to learn how to cook or why I cooked dinner?”

  “Both, I guess.” She took another mouthful.

  “I decided to learn how to cook because I got tired of restaurant food,” he answered. “After we got divorced, I didn’t have anyone to cook for me except the cooks at the restaurant on the first floor of the apartment building and I got tired of their cooking after a while. Besides, I’d been wanting to try my hand at cooking for some time, and so I decided to finally take advantage of the opportunity.”

  “You’d been wanting to learn how to cook?” she asked, surprised.

  He nodded. “Even before we were married, but I guess I didn’t have the time and then we got married and you did all the cooking.”

  She frowned. “You make it sound like I was a tyrant in the kitchen. You could have volunteered to cook, you know. I would have appreciated it.”

  “I guess I was afraid to fail, too. I wanted you to keep thinking I was perfect, after all.”

  She snorted.

  “When I started cooking for myself, I wasn’t really too concerned about failing,” he went on. “So maybe that allowed me to learn more quickly.”

  “Maybe,” she agreed. “So you didn’t take any lessons? I’m sure you could have afforded getting private lessons from some famous chef.”

  “I read up on the basics, bought some cookbooks for beginners. Then, as I cooked, I checked the net whenever I had questions, and I eventually learned,” he said. “I suppose that just goes to show that any human being can cook. It isn’t a talent, but more of instinct. We just have to harness it, hone it.”

  “Wow, you sound like you’ve been cooking forever.”

&nbs
p; He grinned. “As for why I cooked tonight, I decided I’d do it as a way of apologizing to you. I acted…spoke like a jerk on the phone and I upset you. That wasn’t my intention.”

  She kept silent, not having expected the apology. So far, he had thrown her one surprise after another.

  “I should never have tried to meddle with your relationship with Bryan. I should never even have asked someone to investigate him in the first place. As you said, I allowed my jealousy to cloud my thinking and I apologize. From now on, I’ll trust him as long as you trust him.”

  Again, she said nothing, not knowing what to say.

  “And as for me being jealous,” he continued. “I suppose that can’t be helped, but I’ve decided I’ll try to control it as much as possible and I won’t try to make advances at you anymore, or make any attempt to win you back. I realize I’ve been putting you in a difficult situation in the middle of an even more difficult one, and I don’t want to do that anymore. It was wrong of me to barge into your life and think that I still have a right to be in it. I still love you, Kate, but clearly I’ve lost my chance and so I’ve decided to let you go, to let you be happy.”

  She looked at him in surprise, then down at her plate as she waited for the words to sink in and tried to sort out her thoughts. She should have been relieved, happy even that her life was going to be less complicated, that part of it was going back to the way it used to be. Why then, did she feel sad, disappointed?

  You should just be grateful, Kate.

  She met his gaze. “Thank you, Lloyd. It means a lot.”

  He smiled at her. “So I take it my apology has been accepted?”

  She, too, smiled, the fact that most of the sadness she had seen in his eyes earlier had disappeared making her heart feel less heavy. “Only if your apple pie tastes good.”

  He chuckled as he got up from his chair. “Well, let’s see, shall we?”

  He left for the kitchen and she sat, finishing her food quietly. She still felt a little sad, perhaps because she knew he didn’t really want to let her go, or because there was a selfish part of her that didn’t want him to. She knew, however, that what he did was right. He had chosen to respect her relationship with Bryan and so she should simply accept his decision and be happy with it just as he wanted her to be.

  And she was happy.

  She loved Bryan. There was no question about that. And now that Lloyd had decided to leave her alone, she was beginning to think there was no need to tell Bryan about the kiss she had shared with Lloyd. Lloyd was no longer a threat to them, after all, and so it made less sense for her to create a dent in what she and Bryan had built today. What was not broken, not even at the brink of breaking, did not need to be fixed.

  You should still tell Bryan, you know.

  “Oh, shut up,” she whispered. While that was probably true, there was no need to tell Bryan now. Perhaps someday, she would, but not now. Now, she would simply welcome the gifts she had been given – the gift of learning more about Bryan and feeling closer to him, and the gift of Lloyd letting her go so she could find happiness with the man she was currently with – and focus on finding her children.

  Indeed, that was the only thing she should worry about.

  * * * *

  The only thing he was more worried about than not finding Kate’s children was Lloyd, Bryan thought as he sat behind one of the wooden desks in the doctor’s lounge, his laptop in front of him.

  At first, he had merely been worried that Kate would realize she still had feelings for Lloyd, but now, he was more worried that Lloyd would try to win Kate back deliberately, the fact that Lloyd had gone so far as to have him investigated proof that he was an opponent not to be taken lightly.

  Lloyd had him investigated because he suspected that he could have played a role in the kidnapping of the children? That was bullshit. Lloyd had him investigated because he wanted to have an ace up his sleeve, and boy, did he use it.

  Well, he wasn’t just going to let that go, nor was he just going to sit around anymore.

  He considered getting a private investigator of his own but decided to start by digging around on the internet first. Now that he thought about it, he did not really know much about Lloyd. The fact that he was Kate’s ex-husband had been enough for him.

  Not anymore.

  Not surprisingly, he found a lot of information about Lloyd Marrick, and he went through most of the pages, picking out all the important details and banking them in his memory.

  He was too absorbed in his task that he did not notice someone else approaching, nearly jumping when he heard a voice from behind him.

  “Doing some research on Lloyd Marrick, I see,” the man said, peering over his shoulder and adjusting his glasses as he looked at the screen. “Are you planning on investing in his company or going up against him in a lawsuit?”

  “Dr. Quinn,” Bryan acknowledged as he turned around. “You could say it’s something like that.”

  “He doesn’t look very intimidating in person.” Dr. Quinn sat on the couch.

  “You’ve seen him?” Bryan’s annoyance turned into interest.

  “I saw him—when was that?—the other day, I think, while I was visiting my sister-in-law in New Jersey.”

  “He was in New Jersey?”

  “Yes, and with a woman no less.”

  “A woman?”

  “A young woman,” Dr. Quinn answered. “He was probably on a date. I can only imagine how complicated dating must be for a guy like him.”

  “Are you sure it was him?” Bryan asked, wanting to be certain.

  “It was him, all right. I’ve seen him enough on TV. He looked thinner in the flesh, too.”

  Bryan grew silent, thinking. He knew that it was probably Lloyd Dr. Quinn had seen, since Lloyd had been away. But what was he doing with another woman?

  He shrugged. For all he knew, it could just be a client. Then again, Dr. Quinn could also be right and Lloyd was on a date, which meant he wasn’t as much of a rival as Bryan thought he was, which he hoped was the case.

  At any rate, he felt suddenly confused and deciding he needed a cup of coffee, he excused himself, making his way to the vending machine on the second floor, which was the one that had the coffee he wanted.

  There, to his surprise, he met Anne.

  “Dr. Knowles.” She smiled at him. “I thought you were on leave.”

  “There was an emergency I couldn’t ignore.”

  “I see.”

  “But the patient has stabilized. I just need to run a few more tests in an hour.”

  “That’s good.”

  “You’re on duty?”

  “Yes,” Anne answered. “How’s Kate?”

  “She’s okay. I mean, she’s okay given the circumstances. She’s a strong woman.”

  “Don’t I know that.”

  Anne got her cup, then stood aside, letting Bryan get his.

  “If I was in Kate’s shoes, I’d probably have gone crazy by now,” Anne continued. “Not only because of the missing children, but all that pressure living in the same house with two men. If that’s not complicated, I don’t know what is.”

  “Lloyd’s just staying at her house until the kids are found,” Bryan said, minimizing the issue.

  “Bet you don’t like it, though,” Anne said.

  “I don’t,” he admitted. “But I trust Kate, especially now that we no longer have secrets from each other.”

  “You don’t?” Anne looked surprised. “Well, that must mean she told you, then. I knew her conscience wouldn’t be able to handle it.” She took a sip from her cup. “I admire you, Dr. Knowles. Not every man would be able to trust a woman so soon, if ever at all, after she’s kissed another man.”

  That gave Bryan pause. “Kissed another man?”

  “Then again, she didn’t really mean to kiss Lloyd, so I guess…” Anne stopped, her expression turning into one of worry as she looked at him. “She didn’t tell you that, did she?”

  Slowly,
Bryan shook his head.

  “Oh, shit. I’m…”

  “I won’t tell her,” Bryan assured her. “So you need not worry. Thanks for telling me, Anne.”

  He left without waiting for her to speak again, his cup in hand. Part of him wanted to throw it against a wall but he managed to hold onto it, ditching it in the wastebasket in the men’s room as soon as he entered, after which he ran his hands through his hair in frustration and leaned over the sink.

  Kate had kissed Lloyd.

  And she had not told him, not even after he had told her everything, even though she had promised there would be no more secrets between them.

  Just when he thought they were finally going strong, that everything was going to be perfect between them, everything started to fall apart, and just like that, he felt as if his entire world had been plunged into darkness.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Darkness.

  Cold.

  Dust.

  Stench.

  Nick wrinkled his nose as he shone his flashlight around the empty cottage, shuddering to think that two children had once been kept there.

  Just an hour ago, they had received a report that one of K-9 units had picked up a scent at the cottage, which was in another dense patch of woods several miles from where Charlene’s body had been found, following an order that had been given for them to widen the search. He, along with Agent Wilkins, Sgt. Manning and the team from the Boston crime lab, had quickly made their way there, hoping to find some valuable clues that could lead them to Lena and Jack Evans.

  So far, they had found nothing, but less than a minute had passed, and so he remained hopeful.

  “Lieutenant!” He turned his head as he heard a cry from a member of the crime scene investigation unit, Deborah. “I think you should see this.”

  Quickly, he went over to her, holding his breath. He let it go when he saw the small, reddish brown stains on the wood.