Chasing Second Chances Read online

  Back then, before she and Bryan started living together, she had visited him at this apartment a lot and so Bryan had given her the key, which she now clasped tightly in her hand.

  Right now, it was the key to uncovering the truth.

  For a moment, she just stood there, staring at the door with the key in hand. She knew that Bryan wasn’t there and that there was only a remote chance, if any, that he would be going there, since he no longer went there often after coming to live at her house and since he had said he was going to spend some time at the gym today. Still, she could not help but feel afraid.

  She could still turn back, pretend she had never set foot in Bryan’s apartment building and forget about looking for answers about Evelyn Rocher, her conscience telling her it was the right thing to do, but at the same time, she knew she could not, not when she was so close to finding what she was looking for, having a feeling that all she needed to know lay behind the door.

  Indeed, right now, the door was not merely a door. It was the edge of a precipice and if she fell off, there was no climbing back up. There was no knowing what she would find at the bottom.

  Taking a deep breath and steeling her determination, she inserted the key into the lock. Because she had not used the key in a long time, it did not slip in smoothly but eventually went in. After turning it a few times, she heard a click and she gently pushed the door, its creaking seemingly the clang of a bell sounding off in her head, telling her that her mission, her battle had begun.

  This was it.

  She took another deep breath before crossing the threshold, then slowly closed the door behind her. The apartment was the same as she had last seen it, only furnished with the bare essentials, all in sleek, modern style, and neat, although a layer of dust had formed on top of the dining table.

  She set her purse down on an armchair and looked around. Now, where should she begin her search.

  She decided to start in the bedroom, first in the drawers of his desk, trying to find anything that could link Bryan to Evelyn Rocher. When she found none, she tried the boxes under his bed and the shelves, going through each book there to see if there was anything slipped between the pages.

  Nothing.

  She went through the chest of drawers containing his clothes next and when that still didn’t yield any result, she began to wonder what she was doing in Bryan’s apartment in the first place and if she was doing the right thing. She decided to search his closet as a last resort, ready to turn tail, but just when she was at the brink of giving up, her hands closed around a shoebox at the back of the closet, concealed under an old knitted sweater.

  Bingo.

  Even without opening the box, she had a feeling that she had found something valuable. Her heart racing, she blew the dust off the lid and set it down carefully on the floor, kneeling beside it.

  Just as she had at the door, she paused before opening the lid, her apprehension equaling her excitement. Then, deciding not to prolong the agonizing moment, she closed her eyes and lifted the lid, holding her breath, which she let out in a gasp when she opened her eyes and saw the pair of pink baby mittens inside the box.

  Why did Bryan have a pair of baby mittens?

  She picked up the wooly pair, touching one to her cheek, wondering where the baby who had once worn it was. She stopped, though, when she noticed the framed picture lying just beneath it – a picture of a man who was unmistakably Bryan, even though his hair was a bit longer and he looked leaner, his arm around the shoulder of a woman with long, black hair.

  A pregnant woman.

  Could she be Evelyn Rocher?

  All her fear gone now, she lifted the picture out of the box and underneath found an ultrasound picture, as well as a birth certificate, the edges of which had yellowed with age.

  Belinda Rocher.

  Just then, she heard a voice from behind her.

  “Kate?”

  Chapter Sixteen

  At once, Kate got off her knees and turned around, the piece of paper in her hand falling to the floor.

  “Bryan?” Her face paled. “What are you doing here?”

  “I was worried about you so I started looking for you,” he answered. “Why are you…?”

  He stopped asking as his eyes rested on the piece of paper. Then, he looked up towards her, his eyes filled with disappointment. “You…”

  “I was only trying to find more about you,” Kate reasoned in a shaky voice. Since she had never been fully determined to search Bryan’s apartment, she had failed to think of a back-up plan or what she would do in case she got discovered, which she sorely regretted now. In fact, one look at Bryan’s face and she regretted coming to his apartment at all. “I’m sorry.”

  “So did you find out what you were looking for?” His voice was nearly cracking under the weight of the pain he was clearly bearing. “Are you happy now?”

  “I didn’t start digging around to be happy. I did it to…” She stopped trying to defend herself as she remembered what she had come to his apartment for, a voice inside her reminding her of what was really important. “Who is Evelyn Rocher?”

  For a moment, he just looked at her. Thinking he had not heard again, she was about to repeat the question but he suddenly spoke. “So you were asking about her, after all.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “You heard me this morning?”

  “Not really, but I thought that was what you said. It was the reason I came here.”

  “Oh,” was all she could say, suddenly not knowing what to say anymore.

  He bent down to pick up the piece of paper, then picked up the photo and the pair of mittens, as well. “I was hoping you would never find out, but I guess I shouldn’t have hidden it from you.”

  She watched as he placed the items back in the shoebox, then carried it in his arms as he moved to sit on the edge of the bed.

  “Do you really want to know?” he asked her, his eyes no longer brimming with disappointment, though the pain was still there.

  She nodded slowly before sitting on the bed next to him.

  He ran a finger over the woman’s face in the picture. “Evelyn was my girlfriend.”

  She had assumed as much but didn’t say so, keeping silent so as to encourage him to tell her the whole story.

  “We were together for three years,” he went on. “Then on the third year, she got pregnant. She was the happiest woman in the world the day she showed me her positive pregnancy test and I was the happiest man, too. I had just graduated from medical school so I was having the feeling that everything was going perfectly. Of course, I was wrong.”

  She was tempted to ask him to stop speaking, feeling his reluctance to relive what she felt was the most painful experience of his life, but determined to know the truth, she simply placed her hand on his arm as a gesture of comfort.

  “I was supposed to propose to her the day we came home from the hospital after Belinda’s birth,” he continued. “It was a happy day, but the moment we arrived home, I knew something was wrong. Evelyn didn’t want to take care of Belinda. At first, I thought she was only tired and so I took over taking care of the child without complaint but after a week, it was clear she didn’t want the child. It seemed like she was disgusted by Belinda, in fact.”

  Kate frowned, feeling sorry for Evelyn. She understood how hard it was to take care of a newborn baby. She herself had felt several times like she was about to go mad, though she had managed to stay sane somehow.

  “Was it postpartum depression?” she asked.

  He nodded. “While she didn’t want to go to a doctor, I saw the signs and realized what it was. I tried to get her treated. I even begged a psychologist who specialized in such cases to visit our home and talk to her, but she just kept throwing one fit after another. What was worse was that the fits were becoming violent. One time, she even broke the glass of the door to the shower stall.”

  He set the picture down, taking the mittens in his hands. “I gave up on her. I tried doing what I c
ould for her but I couldn’t reach her and so I simply decided I would focus on keeping Belinda safe, on taking care of her. I took her away, thinking that was best, but that was when things took a turn for the worst.

  Kate squeezed Bryan’s arm, knowing he had come to the hardest part of his story.

  “It was strange that Evelyn hated Belinda and yet when she found Belinda gone, she seemed to have come back to her senses. She went to the police, saying her baby had gone missing and accusing me of taking her. The police, of course, came to my house and took me in for questioning.”

  So that was why he was afraid of going into the interrogation room, she thought.

  “When the police found out what the situation really was, they didn’t put me in jail but they returned Belinda to Evelyn. There was no proof she was mentally unstable, after all, and she seemed to be fine. Two days later, she drowned herself in a public pool, Belinda with her.”

  Kate covered her mouth as she let out a gasp of horror. How could Evelyn? How could a mother kill herself and her own child?

  “I should have insisted on keeping her,” he said softly after a moment of silence, one of his hands clenched into a fist. “I shouldn’t have let Evelyn take her.”

  She moved her hand from his arm to cover his trembling fist. “None of this was your fault, Bryan.”

  She felt sorry for him, so sad for his loss, but at the same time, she felt mad at herself. All this time, Bryan had been carrying a heavy burden alone and she had never noticed.

  He placed his other hand over hers. “How did you learn about Evelyn?”

  “I saw a note with her name on it,” she lied, ashamed to let Bryan know she had suspected him to have a hand in the kidnapping of her children.

  “I see.”

  “I’m sorry I unearthed all this,” she said. “But I think it’s for the best. Now, you no longer have any secret from me and I feel like I understand you better now.”

  “You do?” He turned his head towards her. “So you’re not angry?”

  “As long as you’re not angry at me for snooping around,” she told him.

  He shook his head. “You’ll have to fix up all this mess, though.”

  She grinned. “I will.”

  He placed his arm around her, letting her rest her head on his shoulder. “Now, you know why I’m so scared to lose you.”

  She nodded. “And I know now why you lost it that night we found out the kids were missing. You were probably afraid I’d go crazy.”

  “That did cross my mind,” he admitted, half grinning.

  She lifted her head and looked into his eyes. “I promise you you won’t lose me. I’ll never leave you.”

  She held his chin and kissed him, wanting to affirm the words she had just spoken. He kissed her back, their lips meeting with the gentleness of an early morning breeze drifting through the leaves of the trees, and then with escalating force, the affection turning into passion, the warmth into heat, the ripples of desire into a raging tide.

  She clung to him, wrapping her arms around his back as she parted her lips for him, allowing their tongues to mesh. He, in turn, reached for the front of her shirt, cupping her breasts and gently kneading them through the fabric, causing the silk of her bra to rub against her nipples, causing them to stiffen and making her gasp, breaking the kiss.

  Gently, he lowered her onto the bed. She offered no resistance, trusting him completely, now more than ever. Again, they kissed, and many times more, peeling off each other’s clothes during the breathless pauses in between, hers coming off first and then his.

  Naked, they lay in each other’s arms, relishing the feel of bare, heated skin against skin and listening to hearts beating in near unison, their bodies fitting perfectly. Then, when that contact no longer proved to be enough, they began worshipping each other’s bodies, exploring every nook, every curve and dip of each muscle with eager hands and skillful tongues.

  When she felt one of his fingers graze against the sensitive nub between her legs, she gasped and shivered, fists closing around the sheets, and when he entered the most secret part of her, she moaned, the sound echoing in the quiet apartment. It was not the first time he was touching her, probing her, and yet, it felt that way, her heart racing with every little thing he did to her, her body seemingly aflame like she had never felt it before.

  One look into his eyes and she knew she was not the only one in the grip of desire, the unmistakable glint of lust in his eyes letting her know she was not alone in this storm. It was not just lust, though. The love was also there without a doubt, and it was what took her breath away, heightening the pleasure she felt that she could not wait to reach its peak any longer.

  She reached for the hardness between his legs, wrapping her fingers around him to let him know she was ready, that she wanted him. Now.

  Understanding, he nodded, withdrawing his fingers so that another part of him could brush against her, teasing her for a moment before entering her slowly.

  She closed her eyes, savoring the feel of him sliding inside her, sucking in a breath when she felt a tinge of discomfort. It quickly vanished, though, leaving her only with the unique sensation of being filled to the brim. Her heart, too, felt like it would overflow with bliss at the knowledge that she and Bryan were now connected in the most intimate of ways and at the feeling that not only were their bodies joined, but their souls, as well now that there were no more secrets between them.

  He kissed her again as he gave her time to adjust to having him inside her, his lips tenderly pressing down on hers. Then, after he broke the kiss, he stroked her cheek.

  “I love you, Kate,” he whispered, his warm gaze holding hers.

  She smiled. “I love you, too, Bryan.”

  She pulled his face down for another kiss, and when it ended, he began moving in and out of her. At first, he did so slowly, seemingly drawing out each thrust. Then, as if something had snapped inside of him, he started pounding into her, his thrusts becoming hard and deep, rubbing spots inside of her that made her moan and writhe in pleasure.

  She clung to him, first wrapping her arms around his back and then moving them down to grab his firm buttocks. Then, after looking into his eyes one last time, embedding the image into her memory, she squeezed her eyes shut and grabbed onto the sheets, wanting to focus on the wave of ecstasy building up inside her.

  With each thrust Bryan made, the wave grew until finally, it became strong enough to sweep her away, too strong for her to keep at bay. It washed over her, drowning her, making her back arch and her whole body shiver from its force, his name spilling out of her lips as a loud cry. For a moment, she felt as if she couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. Then, the wave slowly died down and she could feel herself simply floating, drifting, waiting to be washed back to shore.

  When she reached it, she opened her eyes to see him still above her, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed. Grunting, he gave one final thrust, burying himself deep inside her as he let himself go, trembling as he emptied himself into her before collapsing on top of her. She wrapped her arms around him as he panted, seemingly just as exhausted as she. Then, he pulled out and lay beside her, drawing her into his arms and pulling the blanket over them to ward off the chill that was beginning to set in now that the fever had passed.

  For a while, they just lay there in silence, staring at the ceiling. Then, Bryan spoke.

  “I shouldn’t have kept my past from you.”

  “Shh.” Kate squeezed his hand. “It’s all behind us now.”

  “I promise I’ll never keep secrets from you again,” he said, squeezing her hand in turn, at the same time, kissing her hair. “I’m done with secrets.”

  At his words, Kate suddenly remembered something she was still hiding something from him and wanting to be just as honest with him as he had been with her, no matter how difficult it was, she turned towards him, looking into his eyes. “Speaking of secrets, I have something to tell you.”

  “I already know you were
married once,” he said jokingly.

  She grinned, then put on a serious expression. “I lied about the note.”

  “What note?” he asked, eyebrows creased.

  “The note I said had Evelyn’s name on it.”

  “Oh. Then, how did you find about her?”

  She took a deep breath. “Lloyd told me.”

  “Lloyd?” He looked even more confused.

  “Lloyd had someone investigate you,” she explained. “I think it was because he suspected that you might have a hand in kidnapping Lena and Jack.”

  “He did?” Bryan frowned.

  She paused, hesitating to tell him the rest of the story, but told herself he deserved to hear the whole truth. “There’s more.”

  He looked at her expectantly.

  “For a while, I suspected you, too,” she confessed, then added quickly, “But only because Lt. Paulson said a prescription drug was found in Charlene’s system and that Charlene’s jacket had the initials E. R. on them. I had no clue who Evelyn Rocher was—Lloyd only dropped the name—and so I started thinking that the two of you were somehow working together. Of course, I know now that I was wrong.” She looked into his eyes. “I should never have suspected you.”

  For a moment, he was silent. Then, he shrugged. “I guess it’s just what I deserved for keeping my past a secret from you.”

  “Like I said, it’s all behind us now,” she said, stroking his cheek. “From now on, there’ll be no more secrets between us.”

  “No more secrets,” he agreed.

  She snuggled into the crook of his shoulder, smiling. Sure, she had been through hell this past week, but at least, something good had come out of it, her relationship with Bryan stronger than ever. Now, if only she could get her children back, her life would be perfect.

  “Don’t worry, Kate.” He hugged her, sensing her worry. “We’ll find them.”

  She nodded but said nothing, the combination of the feelings of contentment and exhaustion making her feel suddenly sleepy. She closed her eyes, listening to the sound of his breathing and before she knew it, she fell asleep.